


Coparenting

by LittleDarlingXOX



Series: JayTim Shorts [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Just Add Kittens, M/M, an orange cat named Dorito, sarah mclachlan's arms of an angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 23:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleDarlingXOX/pseuds/LittleDarlingXOX
Summary: In which a kitten plays psychological warfare with Jason and wins.





	Coparenting

“Tim...” Jason called towards the bedroom, his eyes still fixed on the window that led out onto the fire escape. “It’s still out there, it’s just watching us.”

Tim came out of the bedroom, laptop and case files in hand, intent on writing up his reports after a busy night on patrol as Red Robin. His hair was still wet from the shower he’d just taken.

“Why won’t it go away?” Jason asked, turning around to look at Tim who’d just sat himself down on the couch.

Tim opened his laptop and without even looking up at him, replied. “This is your own fault, Jason. I told you not to give it a piece of your chili dog.”

“Hey!” Jason remarked. “I was congratulating myself on the biggest drug bust of my career with celebratory chili dogs. Sorry if I felt like spreading the joy.”

“So, you decided to celebrate with a cat?” Tim quirked a brow.

Jason leveled a finger at him. “You have no right to judge me. I’ve seen you give bread crumbs to pigeons in the park.”

“I think there’s a difference.” Tim remarked dryly, digging through his stack of papers for lord-only-knows-what. Jason dismissed him with a wave of his hand and turned back to the window where the scrappy kitten, with it’s matted orange fur was sitting patiently.

“Oh God...it’s waiting.” he whispered, voice full of sudden dread. “It’s going to wear me down.”

“ _Jason_ …” Tim sighed. “I highly doubt that the kitten is playing psychological warfare with you. It probably just sees you as a new source for food and is sticking around to see if you’ll feed it. Just ignore it for the night and by morning I’m sure it will be gone.”

“Or _dead_.” Jason countered, sitting down on the couch, looking gloomy. He chewed on his bottom lip for a minute. “Can we keep it?”

Tim’s head shot up like a rocket. “Oh, no! Jason, we are not taking in a stray cat. It needs shots and we’d have to buy food—”

“Not necessarily. I think I could keep it alive on chili dogs for at least a month before we have to buy actual cat food.”

Tim’s expression was pinched. “Jason, I’m being serious. We don’t exactly live the standard 9-5 hour jobs here. How are we going to take care of it?”

Jason scratched at the back on his head. “How hard can it be? I mean, Catwoman has about a hundred strays crashing at her place.”

“I don’t know, Jason...” Tim groaned.

Jason snatched Tim’s laptop away from him and opened up a video on youtube. He turned the screen around a moment later when Sarah Mclachlan’s song “Arms of an Angel” started up in the background of an ASPCA commercial. “This could be our kitten by tomorrow morning. Are you willing to take that risk?”

“This isn’t even fair…” Tim grumbled and Jason grinned as he saw his resolution crumbling quickly. “Ok, fine! Let it inside and I’ll find some cereal to give to it or something.”

Tim moved towards the kitchen and started rooting around in the cabinets.

“You’re the best boyfriend a guy could ask for.” Jason called to him.

“We’re giving it a bath before we go to bed, though. If that kitten’s been wandering through Gotham, then it probably has collected a million types of dirt and germs.”

“Uh-huh,” Jason wasn’t really listening anymore as he pushed open the window and crouched down on the floor.

“Hey there, little guy. Let’s get you inside, alright?” Jason scooped up the little kitten into his hands and carried it towards the kitchen. It immediately began nipping at Jason’s thumb.

Jason huffed a laugh and turned the kitten towards Tim so he could see. “This little guy has some bite to him. What do you think about calling him Killer?”

Jason pushed the kitten, that was still gnawing on his thumb, up towards Tim’s face. “ _Killer,_ ” he mocked growled. “ _The fiercest kitty in all of Gotham!”_  Tim extended his fingers and the kitten eagerly licked them.

“Yeah, somehow I don’t think that fits.” Tim smiled and started to scratch the kitten behind it’s ears.

“Fine, then. How about Dorito?” countered Jason.

“Dorito? I’m not naming our kitten after a brand of chips, Jason.”

“Nah, c’mon it’s cute. Look at him, the little fella looks like he rolled around in the cheese dust, he’s so orange. Aren’t you, Dorito?”

Tim rolled his eyes heavenward. “Alright...yeah I’ll admit it’s pretty cute. Now let Dorito eat some cereal.”

Tim placed a bowl of Cheerios down on the floor and watched the hungry kitten go to town on the them. Jason pulled Tim against his side. “Holy hell, we’re co-parenting a kitten. I can’t believe it.”

“Not a word to Dick about this. He’ll never leave our apartment.” said Tim.

“Obviously.”

* * *

 

The next morning went about like it usually did. Tim woke up early and stumbled his way to the coffee machine, while Jason woke up just long enough to pull his pillow over his face and block out the morning sunlight before falling back asleep. Ten minutes later, Tim was sipping at his steaming cup of coffee and booting up his laptop when he glanced down at the floor to see the cereal bowl lying where they left it last night.

“Oh God.” he spun around the room, but there was no kitten in sight. He abandoned his coffee on the counter and raced into the bedroom, flipping the covers off the bed and then when that didn’t produce a fluffy orange furball— ducked his head until the bed.

“ _Jason!_ ” Tim hissed, shaking his shoulder urgently. “Jason, wake up!”

“ _What the hellza matter with you?_ ” Jason slurred voice still heavy with sleep, pressing the pillow down against his head.

“We lost Dorito. Help me look for him.”

“ _”M not hungry._ ”

“No, Jason. The cat, we lost the cat!”

Jason yanked the pillow off his face until half of his face was showing. “Oh man, already? We’re the worst co-parents ever!”

He scrambled off of the bed and started checking under the furniture. “Dorito! Here Dorito!”

“You can’t call it like a dog.” Tim snapped.

Jason pulled his head out from under the desk, dust bunnies clinging to his bedhead. “You have a better idea, Genius?”

Tim opened his mouth, a retort on the tip of his tongue before he realized it wasn’t worth the effort. He sighed and raised his voice. “Dorito! Come here Dorito!”

The searching high and low from the bedroom into the sitting area. Tim crawled on all fours, looking until and behind all the furniture, while Jason opened up every cabinet and even went as far as scaling the bookcase.

Tim plopped himself down on the couch, about ready to admit defeat when he glanced at the coffee table and burst out laughing. “Jason, I found him. You’ve got to see this.”

“Where is he?” Jason called, running over to him. Tim pointed down at the table where Jason had discarded his Red Hood helmet the night before, where an orange ball of fur was currently nestled inside purring contently. Jason smiled and flopped onto the couch.

“I have to take a picture of this.” Tim said, moving to find his phone.


End file.
